The 5 Pillars of Authentic Leadership

Source: The 5 Pillars of Authentic Leadership

my favorite pillar is number 4: groundedness. I think great leaders realize that they are made of more than leadership. They hold value in more than what they lead. Groundedness means balance in life. Being a good dad, good husband, good neighbors and caretakers, good tenants, good shoppers and so on.

A good leader understands we are more than 8 hours we put into work. We have all been somewhere, are going somewhere and we are here.


In the name of obscurity this week, I’m sharing a few thoughts and quotes I have about this topic. 

“If you want to be successful, you have to be willing to disappear for a while”

“Two things comfort me; knowing that I matter, and knowing that I am completely insignificant and disposable to the world”

“Welcome small beginnings, for even God arrived as a baby”

“A seed begins in darkness where no one sees and no one knows. Yet it is the beginning of life and without this necessary and obscure time, apparent growth and glory would not be attained.”

What do you think of obscurity?

Thank you

One of the predictable patterns my family practices is to have thankful time at dinner. This gives each of us a chance to express something we are thankful for today.  

Having three small ones around the table usually means:

1. I forgot to clean and sweep the remains of yesterday’s meal off the table and floor

2. Someone has already pushed another out of their chair. Because yes, you can own a uniform dining room chair. 

3. I am grumpy-tired and have already had to apologize for griping. 

It seems like pausing to tell someone thank you would be off key with the tune of complaints gripes and worries. 

I heard someone say “thankfulness and anxiety cannot occupy the same space”. One will have to yeild as the other moves into your mind. In the past I told God thank you for something because I

1. Didn’t want to appear ungrateful 

2. Wanted to keep good things coming at me. Ha, because God’s love language is words of affirmation. 

3. … I don’t know. What if I’m not sincerely thankful?

Here’s the big idea. Thankfulness when expressed to me usually helps me understand what is appreciated from my actions. And honestly, people forgot to say thank you all the time but I won’t stop doing good. It feels good to receive thanks. However, God telling us to “be thankful always” is not because he needs to know what we appreciate-it is to help us. Thankfulness will displace anxiety! Try it!

Pause now and express what you are thankful for. Imagine thankfulness as away of preventing worries. It is the being thankful that helps. Regardless of where to to whom it is directed. It benefits the giver more than the receiver. 

Now that is something to be thankful for. 

Insight from without 

When you can’t find within what you need, realize this is a lesson in trust. Reach out. Someone has something you need to hear because God is moving us from isolation into trust. 

Here are some morsels of wisdom i needed to hear over the last week, where I encountered a situation where my fears slowly rose over my head. If you have ever had to breathe in fear, you know the quickest place you want to get to is Relief. 
However, I have learned to move in the direction of my fears. Jesus calls from the other side of them. Even though, I can receive help along the way to winning the game. 

Some much needed solace from friends. 

-I’ve been there many times…and I’ve had to resolve to be broken to receive the blessing. –
-He has been Giving you what you need up until this point. Even though you’ve taken a wrong turn here and there it’s never been to complete and utter destruction and he has taught you lessons through it-

-Thanks for being honest and sharing all of that. Since we’re being honest I’ve been wondering and questioning why…-

-Truth sets you free-

-Beware of posing as a profound person: even God became a baby-

-You have what it takes because God’s Spirit is in you.-

Going in circles?

Reminder for this week, life can seem off balance if you are. Email me at for a educational session on how your mind works.
45 minute phone call with me and I can show you how to use your minds best tools at learning information and making decisions. It’s good for understanding yourself and how you relate to the world around you. 

You will be satisfied when you learn something about yourself. Have a good day!

Why you need a Mr. Rogers in your life. 


“It’s such a good feeling to know that I’ll be back when the day is new”

Have you heard of Mr. Roger’s neighborhood? Was he your neighbor? Do you remember him, his zip up and zip down sweater routine, the way he crossed one leg over the other as he politely removed his shoes?

Do you remember the way he uttered, “feed the fish” and then I knew as a child, exactly how much fish food to pinch because I saw him do it. 

Do you remember him telling you that thunderstorms gave you no reason to be afraid? I remember trusting his word because he never gave me a reason to doubt him.

He said what he meant and meant what he said. “I always felt I didn’t need to put on a funny hat or jump through a hoop to have a relationship with a child.”

If a child can read a phony, it only served to show up honestly. He helped each child understand with sincerity, when he said, ” I like you just the way you are”. I believed it because he was there – just the way he was.

Here are a few reasons why we all need someone like Fred Rogers in our life.


  • We all need someone to understand that we are not the random snapshot of our life, but the sum total of experiences, past, present and future. With this thought, no one is beyond help or understanding. This kind of thinking begs to wait for more light to be shown on the situation before a judgement is made.

  • We all need someone to be there. Right where we left them. It’s almost as if they are a faithful undeveloped side character in the story of our lives, and they are not going anywhere. Uncertainty brings such a restlessness to our hearts as we wait nervously for our next affirmation or validation. These people are always found stationary and subtle, but heals our most misunderstood wounds.

  • We all need someone who is proud of us. Personality Hacker types Fred Rogers as “Memory Harmony” in the Genius style assessment. These wonderful people demonstrate a much needed characteristic in our world – pride. They clap when your recitals sound terrible, they cheer when you get taken to the sidelines, they smile and find a reason to celebrate in the C- you brought home from school. And they keep biding time for you to become the person you are meant to be, holding their breath while you learn to breathe.

Mr. Rogers was on the path of becoming a minister when he watched children’s televisions for the first time at his parents house while on break. Registering disgust as he watched the cartoons unfold, he decided he would take another path and began to work as a lower level employee with NBC. Eventually, he moved up to creating his own television program that reached into so many hearts around the country.

A person like Fred Rogers understood that we are made up of the people who have invested the most in us. Maybe it is a parent, maybe a friend. Maybe someone further along in life, whether one year or twenty ahead of you that reminded you “it’s going to get better”. If Mr. Rogers were still here with us, he would ask you to take a moment, let that person know you appreciate them. Would you do that now?

Thanks for reading today, and remember, there are many ways to say

“I love you” there are many ways to say, “I care about you.”



Photo cred: Calie Garret
Lately I have been thinking a lot about seasons and their purpose. When we talk about seasons, we refer to the leaves blooming flowers, changing color, and falling off, leaving their home to rest into the dirt beneath. 

Really, it’s the cycle that we are taking about. There are a lot of effective ways to communicate life using circles. One of my favorite is the circle of continuous breakthrough referenced in Mike Breen’s book Choosing to Learn from Life 

What I like about this model is that we can learn from our moments, in almost a post game Conferance sort of way, where we can observe, reflect, discuss our actions in order to learn from them. 

Of course, this means we have to be willing for the next opportunity before we can choose to grow. Rather than simply correcting a mistake, error, or undesirable I observe, life requires patience from me as I wait for that moment, or season to come around again so I can arrive with a new skill set, alternate mindset to change my behavior. 

Train stations, harvest time, full moons, meteor showers, hunting deer, open enrollment, most of our life involves taking the opportunity to better yourself or to wait until the next opportunity comes around. 

Patience and understanding yourself brings the preparation necessary for me to grow into a better version of myself, all the while I am waiting for the season to arrive. 

And I think that’s what we can become more skilled in doing: waiting actively. Waiting, not in an idle way, but purposeful, intentional, understanding this: that the universe operates in seasons and so should we. 

So, here’s to your season! 

Don’t quit!

When life keeps you stuck in a rut, when you can’t move forward, when you’re cramped in the inferior, when time and space get you down, do what you do best:
Make it authentic

Make it harmonious 

Make it effective

Make it logical
Shift your perspective

Redefine your memories 

Be sensational

Keep exploring

Friends let friends be themselves

imageI would have to say that today I’m thankful for the friends in my life who give me space to be myself.

I notice that the things I’m the most insecure about in myself particularly my ability to get things done on time, is where I need someone to hold space and give grace.

Being myself, in the case, would mean that when making decisions, I allow myself the slow process of filtering through my values until I know, deep in my core, what is the right thing to do.

The picture I get in my mind is tracing a group of tangled cables all the way back to a power source. At this point, I can reassure myself that if I make a decision (pull the plug) that it is not going to shut power down to a vital motivation in my heart.

Does this sound complicated? It is! But along with mastering this decision making process comes some of the most beautiful art and expression of humanity since it is so in touch with the core values of the person.

How do you make decisions? What process do you go through? Share your thoughts in the comments.

Mission thoughts on food

God has been saying something to me for a while regarding food, drink and thankfulness. 

I have not studied the feasts at all, but I get the impression God ordered a lot of meals, I know there will be a wedding feast in heaven, the first sin was oriented around what we ate, Jesus’ first and last recorded miracle involve food (water you turned into wine) and the miraculous catch of fish and the master breakfast by the bay. Jesus used food (the passover meal) to have us remember him. The first and the last ultimate human betrayal oriented around a fruit tree in the garden with Adam and Eve and a morsel of bread dipped in gravy given to Judas in exchange for the permission to hand Christ over to death.
I think what God is saying is that he builds worship and love around food. Worship towards him because it births gratefulness and love because it binds us in unity.
Romans 1:21 says although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him.
That whole spiritual/moral decline began as knowing God but never thanking him. 
Think about it, you can use all 5 of your senses during a meal. Most likely you first smell the food. Smells are connected greatly to the way we feel. Next you might, see the food. Presentation can deter you from choosing a menu item if it looks like slop on a plate special instead of the pristine photoshopped decoration of a dessert. We like what we see. Now you begin to touch the food. While I was in Peru, a friend of mine told me, “Food tastes best with your fingers.” I wonder if part of the reason we love junk food so much is that we are using our hands to feed ourself rather than having to mediate with a metal utensil. Burgers, fries, chips, candy, pizza, they all get touched right before we chomp down on our lunch that day.
Of course, you can hear the food. Sometimes we try to be polite, but the truth is, meals are noisy things. There is smacking and slurping and cruching and cracking. Maybe you are concious enough not to let me hear you chew your food, but you can certainly enjoy the sounds you make during a meal!
Lastly, the food is tasted. Needless to say, food does not provide such a pleasure as when you are stopped up with a head cold. 
Interesting note, when you snack on chips, crackers, smacking and crunching your brain deposits dopamine in your blood. This is done in tangent with your salivary glands releasing saliva. That’s why when most people are needing a hug, they will start snacking because as soon as your saliva is released, dopamine “the pleasure hormone” is released in your blood, making you happy. 
Case in point: if we are going to train our bodies to be happy, do it around people, not alone. To be alone is something foreign to the holy Godhead. Only once was Jesus alone and that was on our behalf for the forgiveness of sins. Practice eating together. As humble as our meal is some nights, i.e. Chicken nuggets and cheese sticks, we do it as a family. Before diving into our meal, we practice going around the table and saying what we are thankful for. The responses range from silly to serious, laughable to warming my heart. I want my children to direct thanks to God. When god leaves, things get dark and cold in a way about we have no idea, even the most wicked of us. None of us are truly alone yet. Live in such a way that the world will miss Christs company when you are gone. I think that can only happen if we are visible to the world. Everybody eats. Do it together.