Holding Space

IMG_3436Mostly what I’m learning about now is how to care for others. I’ve played a hospice nurse, youth pastor, space holder, daddy, and husband.But one thing I notice I can never do for myself is be there for me. I have been moving so fast through life between working, late night call outs to provide care for patients, leading ministries at churches, balancing a family and work and more often than not, dropping everything and refusing to admit that I’m:

Burnt out

Brain Fog

Losing sleep

Running in the circus ring with a lion, and if I slow down, he will consume me

My wife Ellen, decided to end her 7 year “stay at home mom” stretch and return to working in her field. There’s plenty to say about that challenge from her end but it left me to care for the kids at home until school started, but mostly, she wanted to gift me with the chance to start-up a business I had been dreaming about for some time. So for 2 months, I stopped working, cashed out all my PDO, and started a business, cared for the kids and home.  After 2 months of launching in this direction, we then decided I would return to a full-time working status after the kids started school.
Honestly, at the end of the day if all we accomplished was me spending 2 months leave of absence, I owe so much to Ellen for that. I got to know and understand my kids on a whole new level. I started a blog that I plan on keeping up and even got up a website where people can actually pay me online for coaching services.
And I certainly learned about myself, how to regulate my speed, how to dwell in Gods presence whether at work, play or rest.
Some may say she just wanted to get back to work some may say she wanted to use her nursing license but in her core, she wanted to help give her husband a much deserved break. She is pioneer woman, she is the helper that comes along and meets the need. She literally gave me the clothes off her back by covering all the expenses while I rested and refreshed myself from 5 years of pushing through one of the most taxing jobs I’ve ever worked. She gave me a chance of reprieve from the circus, a tap out of the ring to engage in one of the most important rhythms in life – rest. The lions are still out there and eventually, we return to the plow of earth, the toil of mankind, but now with a refreshed heart and soul.

Surround yourself with people who help you rest, work, play, and show you how engage in the natural rhythms of life. This is not the end of the discussion, only the beginning.



What it means to “hold space” for people, plus eight tips on how to do it well

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